The year is half over, and I've written, like four times now? Part of my resolution was to write more, and, sadly, that part is a success. But much more than this is what I had intended. My Aunt Ellen recently mentioned something about me writing, and it has made me think about it a lot lately. I'm so out of practice though that it scares me to think about trying again, and the internet has allowed everyone to become a writer, so my competition is now endless, relentless, and very often quite talented with the prose.
The other part of my resolution isn't going well at all. I said previously (February?!) that my speaking problem wasn't as big as I thought it was. That appeared to be true early on, as I was anticipating it being a problem big enough to supply me with ample blogging material, which it has not been. But it is quite big in the long term. Reflecting on six months has made me realize how hugely I'm failing. I'm still repeating myself to Jen multiple times far too often, raising my voice TOO much when customers don't hear me, and letting some things go unheard that I really need to make clear. I think my next step is to re-read my initial entry on this topic, and really make efforts these next six months, instead of observing and reflecting. I am going to go read it now!
I'll write again soon. :)
Monday, June 14, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Um...
Ok, February is almost over and this is my first entry of the month. Didn't I say I was going to write more often? Well, strange thing happened: I discovered that my New Year's resolution really isn't exciting. Nevertheless, I am going to update how it's going.
I seem to have decided that, overall, people not hearing me is not as much of a problem as I was previously thinking it was. In general, there are only a few regulars who constantly struggle to hear me, but I'm chalking that up to them being a little hard of hearing. I don't speak in the same manner to others who you might expect to be hard of hearing, and they hear me just fine. But, one of my rules was to speak according to my audience. I know who these people are, so I need to do a better job of speaking up to them in particular.
There was an exception to this today, when a customer I was helping for quite a while looked at me often and asked, "what?" She was less than two feet from me much of the time. Confidence was a factor, as I was not at my salesman-best at the time. I have to be on my game at all times when working with customers.
I also noticed today that I'm still saying "um" a lot preceding what I actually mean to say. Sometimes this um is a gap-filler to let people know I heard them and am working in my head on the right response to what they've said or asked. There is an um where a gap of only a second or so would otherwise be, but people are impatient. If someone speaks to you, they expect immediate response. If you listen, you'll notice how people frequently talk over each other. One will start an answer before the other has finished asking the question. One will offer protest before the other has finished making their point. Neither of these interrupters are me. I listen, I pause, I speak. However, what was sometimes a gap-filler is now, I'm afraid, mostly habit. Most times I don't need to say it before speaking. "Where is the bathroom?" "Um, it's over there." Really?
Tomorrow is the last day of February already, and (in a few minutes, actually), and I seem to have barely made an effort towards my resolution. I say it hasn't needed much effort, but it does. If I make dramatic improvement the rest of this year, maybe my resolution WILL be exciting! A best seller! Ok, probably not. But at least something to blog about.
I seem to have decided that, overall, people not hearing me is not as much of a problem as I was previously thinking it was. In general, there are only a few regulars who constantly struggle to hear me, but I'm chalking that up to them being a little hard of hearing. I don't speak in the same manner to others who you might expect to be hard of hearing, and they hear me just fine. But, one of my rules was to speak according to my audience. I know who these people are, so I need to do a better job of speaking up to them in particular.
There was an exception to this today, when a customer I was helping for quite a while looked at me often and asked, "what?" She was less than two feet from me much of the time. Confidence was a factor, as I was not at my salesman-best at the time. I have to be on my game at all times when working with customers.
I also noticed today that I'm still saying "um" a lot preceding what I actually mean to say. Sometimes this um is a gap-filler to let people know I heard them and am working in my head on the right response to what they've said or asked. There is an um where a gap of only a second or so would otherwise be, but people are impatient. If someone speaks to you, they expect immediate response. If you listen, you'll notice how people frequently talk over each other. One will start an answer before the other has finished asking the question. One will offer protest before the other has finished making their point. Neither of these interrupters are me. I listen, I pause, I speak. However, what was sometimes a gap-filler is now, I'm afraid, mostly habit. Most times I don't need to say it before speaking. "Where is the bathroom?" "Um, it's over there." Really?
Tomorrow is the last day of February already, and (in a few minutes, actually), and I seem to have barely made an effort towards my resolution. I say it hasn't needed much effort, but it does. If I make dramatic improvement the rest of this year, maybe my resolution WILL be exciting! A best seller! Ok, probably not. But at least something to blog about.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Tired of Repeating Myself
I spent part of today at the mall while waiting for a tire replacement at Sears. I ran over some refrozen black snow on the way to work yesterday and completely destroyed one of my tires -- who knew snow could do that -- which made me an hour late for work but provided for some fun Facebook statuses and comments about Jen holding my nuts while I put on the spare. It also allowed me to practice making myself heard by someone who really wasn't listening.
I initially was ready to count the incident at the counter as a failure on my part, but in the end I think the guy just didn't have all his spark plugs firing. He admitted that he just arrived for work, but I gathered he meant his body had arrived but that his mind was still waiting for the bus. My first clue was when he wrote my phone number on the manual work order and then when he started entering it into the computer he quickly asked, "can I get a phone number?" Um, yeah.
Anyway, before he started writing, I told him why I was there and that the tire that needed work was in the trunk. Soon he was asking me the make and model of the car and, without even thinking about it, I was answering the questions. Now, the tire was from my car, but I drove Jen's to the mall, so I was giving him her car's description. With the tire in the trunk, it was kind of irrelevant what make and model the car was. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had said at first that I had a damaged tire without a car attatched. Yet I was telling him what kind of car it was. Maybe my mind was in the trunk, too, at that point. Anyway, after getting my info into the computer he asked for they key, and I again gave it no second thought because I was sure he wanted to open the trunk. Oh, but wait. One last question. Which tire is it?
"It's in the trunk."
"Yeah, but where on the car?"
Huh? OK, now it really made no sense, but I told him where it originally was and let him go check it out. When he came back and said they didn't have any tires of that size, I finally knew he was having a bad first few minutes at work. So I spoke up.
"When I called, they said there were several of them in stock, of a couple of different brands." I pulled out the paper on which I had scribbled my notes from that phone call. "Did you check the one in the trunk?" I made sure I was heard.
"Oh, I didn't check that one."
Did I need to start over? No, he finally got it. Succeed.
I initially was ready to count the incident at the counter as a failure on my part, but in the end I think the guy just didn't have all his spark plugs firing. He admitted that he just arrived for work, but I gathered he meant his body had arrived but that his mind was still waiting for the bus. My first clue was when he wrote my phone number on the manual work order and then when he started entering it into the computer he quickly asked, "can I get a phone number?" Um, yeah.
Anyway, before he started writing, I told him why I was there and that the tire that needed work was in the trunk. Soon he was asking me the make and model of the car and, without even thinking about it, I was answering the questions. Now, the tire was from my car, but I drove Jen's to the mall, so I was giving him her car's description. With the tire in the trunk, it was kind of irrelevant what make and model the car was. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had said at first that I had a damaged tire without a car attatched. Yet I was telling him what kind of car it was. Maybe my mind was in the trunk, too, at that point. Anyway, after getting my info into the computer he asked for they key, and I again gave it no second thought because I was sure he wanted to open the trunk. Oh, but wait. One last question. Which tire is it?
"It's in the trunk."
"Yeah, but where on the car?"
Huh? OK, now it really made no sense, but I told him where it originally was and let him go check it out. When he came back and said they didn't have any tires of that size, I finally knew he was having a bad first few minutes at work. So I spoke up.
"When I called, they said there were several of them in stock, of a couple of different brands." I pulled out the paper on which I had scribbled my notes from that phone call. "Did you check the one in the trunk?" I made sure I was heard.
"Oh, I didn't check that one."
Did I need to start over? No, he finally got it. Succeed.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
First Few Days
It's been a few days now, and so far I've noticed it's harder to keep track of the successes than the failures. Every time I've had to repeat myself I've thought to myself, "FAIL!" But there honestly haven't been many of those times.
I soft-spoke the end of a sentence to a lady picking up an order at the store a couple days ago, after asking her to sign for the pick-up. She was there for the person who placed the order, and we normally get the signature from the purchaser as proof of delivery, so this lady's signature was kind of irrelevant. But I asked her to do it anyway, and then my voice tailed off as I tried to explain why I needed her to sign for it. I should give myself an exception on that one, since I've said her signature was kind of irrelevant. That means my reason for getting it from her was kind of irrelevant too.
I count as a success what happened today when I turned to say one last thing to Katheryn at work after our conversation had appeared to have ended. We were kind of far apart when I spoke again, and she is a little hard of hearing anyway, I think, so I was glad that when I fnished my sentence she shook her head and responded, understanding me just fine even if she may not have heard me completely. Comprehension is the important thing, right?
Jen and I had dinner out tonight to celebrate our anniversary (1 day later) of being together. I had to repeat myself at least once due to excessive quiet-talk, because we were sitting too close for comfort to a group of people at the next table. But what I was saying wasn't top secret by any means, so I really should have been able to say it only once. Now when we were talking about trips to the bathroom and "pulling out the breadsticks," I think quiet-speak was completely acceptable. We managed to understand each other fine at those times.
I soft-spoke the end of a sentence to a lady picking up an order at the store a couple days ago, after asking her to sign for the pick-up. She was there for the person who placed the order, and we normally get the signature from the purchaser as proof of delivery, so this lady's signature was kind of irrelevant. But I asked her to do it anyway, and then my voice tailed off as I tried to explain why I needed her to sign for it. I should give myself an exception on that one, since I've said her signature was kind of irrelevant. That means my reason for getting it from her was kind of irrelevant too.
I count as a success what happened today when I turned to say one last thing to Katheryn at work after our conversation had appeared to have ended. We were kind of far apart when I spoke again, and she is a little hard of hearing anyway, I think, so I was glad that when I fnished my sentence she shook her head and responded, understanding me just fine even if she may not have heard me completely. Comprehension is the important thing, right?
Jen and I had dinner out tonight to celebrate our anniversary (1 day later) of being together. I had to repeat myself at least once due to excessive quiet-talk, because we were sitting too close for comfort to a group of people at the next table. But what I was saying wasn't top secret by any means, so I really should have been able to say it only once. Now when we were talking about trips to the bathroom and "pulling out the breadsticks," I think quiet-speak was completely acceptable. We managed to understand each other fine at those times.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
Last night Jen and I stood at the bedroom window and could just barely see the fireworks downtown. It was a cozy moment for us, but we couldn't help but wonder why we weren't out doing something with the crowds, and we vowed right then and there to attend First Night Columbia next year, no matter what.
Now, when I say "last night," that isn't really true. It honestly feels like last night, but it was December 31, 2008. The year 2009 is over and I remember little more about it than how it began. I know that we painted half the interior of the new house, finished getting settled in it, and had Punkin and Mom B in hospitals for brief stays. Other than that, it's a blur. Less than a blur.
I'll never rush time again, nor encourage it to disappear. I had already given up page-a-day calendars a couple years ago, because I refuse to throw the days away. And no more countdowns other than the December days 'til Christmas, the last sixty seconds 'til the new year, and the seconds remaining in segments of football, basketball, and hockey games. I know American Idol is coming back soon, but I CAN wait. Really.
So 2010 has shown up early for its appointment with me, and I'm determined to make something a little more memorable out of it. This year I have made a resolution that I will use this blog to help me keep. It is probably going to sound petty when you read what it is, but trust me, it's a giant personal leap. I don't know how often I will write in the blog, but the idea is that I will do it much more than I have for my previous attempts at blogging (4 blogspot entries the last 2 years, I think!). I guess that idea is New Year's Resolution #2.
As for Resolution #1, it's quite simple. At least it should be simple. For me it will be a mountain to climb, and one I must always be thinking about. In writing I can say what I want, and the reader can take it in at whatever pace is comfortable. I have been known to be smart, witty, and insightful. But when I speak aloud I am nothing like that. I am, uh, [long pause] not confident. I am full of uhs and [long pause]s. I am always afraid that what I have to say is not really that important, possibly inaccurate, or that it is not the right time to say it and that time never seems to come around. Enough! Why the hell should I be the only one putting that much thought into things before speaking? *smiles*
My resolution is to speak like I mean it. I dabbled in 2009 at speaking my mind a little more often, and that was a nice preparation for 2010. This year, I aim to say what I want to say when I want to say it, and say it LOUD and in-tell-ig-ib-ly.
While this is one resolution, it means several things:
Now, when I say "last night," that isn't really true. It honestly feels like last night, but it was December 31, 2008. The year 2009 is over and I remember little more about it than how it began. I know that we painted half the interior of the new house, finished getting settled in it, and had Punkin and Mom B in hospitals for brief stays. Other than that, it's a blur. Less than a blur.
I'll never rush time again, nor encourage it to disappear. I had already given up page-a-day calendars a couple years ago, because I refuse to throw the days away. And no more countdowns other than the December days 'til Christmas, the last sixty seconds 'til the new year, and the seconds remaining in segments of football, basketball, and hockey games. I know American Idol is coming back soon, but I CAN wait. Really.
So 2010 has shown up early for its appointment with me, and I'm determined to make something a little more memorable out of it. This year I have made a resolution that I will use this blog to help me keep. It is probably going to sound petty when you read what it is, but trust me, it's a giant personal leap. I don't know how often I will write in the blog, but the idea is that I will do it much more than I have for my previous attempts at blogging (4 blogspot entries the last 2 years, I think!). I guess that idea is New Year's Resolution #2.
As for Resolution #1, it's quite simple. At least it should be simple. For me it will be a mountain to climb, and one I must always be thinking about. In writing I can say what I want, and the reader can take it in at whatever pace is comfortable. I have been known to be smart, witty, and insightful. But when I speak aloud I am nothing like that. I am, uh, [long pause] not confident. I am full of uhs and [long pause]s. I am always afraid that what I have to say is not really that important, possibly inaccurate, or that it is not the right time to say it and that time never seems to come around. Enough! Why the hell should I be the only one putting that much thought into things before speaking? *smiles*
My resolution is to speak like I mean it. I dabbled in 2009 at speaking my mind a little more often, and that was a nice preparation for 2010. This year, I aim to say what I want to say when I want to say it, and say it LOUD and in-tell-ig-ib-ly.
While this is one resolution, it means several things:
- No mumbling. Babbling babies are understood better than I am sometimes.
- No hesitating. I swear every sentence I say begins with "uh" or "um."
- No mouse-talk. Turn up the volume. Sometimes I think Jen and Donna couldn't hear a dump truck in a nitroglycerine plant. Other times we are driving down the highway and I forget that there is an engine right in front of us, others close by, and a constant surge of air rushing past that kind of make it hard to hear anything else. I must speak according to audience and circumstance.
- Follow-up as needed. If I want my directions followed at work, I need to make sure I was heard and understood before walking away.
I got an early chance last night (the real last night) to give it a whirl, when we went to Deja Vu after midnight. Big, mostly drunk crowd and plenty of loud music to have to shout over. I commented to Jen that it was the first test of my New Year's Resolution. And she heard me.
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